26 Real Struggles of Motherhood
Every mother knows the joys that having children brings. She also knows that nothing every moment is filled with smiles, kisses, or a handful of dandelions fresh picked just for her. The struggles of motherhood are very real. You just may be able to relate to a few of them.
1. Mom Guilt is One of the Top Struggles of Motherhood
Mom guilt is most often associated with working outside of the home and spending so much time away from their kids. There are other forms of mom guilt, however, such as not being able to afford something for your child. I suffered from this when my son was little and hockey became too expensive for us to let him continue. I knew the family budget wouldn’t stretch far enough and would affect the rest of the family, including my daughter giving up ballet (which she loves). It still kept me up at night, though.
2. Many Mommas Struggle with an Overwhelming To-To List
You know the list I am talking about. It’s that piece of paper or maybe it can be found in an app on their phone. Either way, things go on the list, but they don’t ever seem to make their way off of the list. That is usually the mom that needs reminded (often many times) what they promised to do for you.
3. Some Mommas Have Trouble with Time Management
I know more than one mom who can not manage their time. They are always late for everything. In fact, you even start to count on their tardiness when you tell them when to meet or when something may start. You know the moms I am talking about. You may be one of those moms.
4. Less support from spouse than expected
I do feel for these moms. They are the moms that no matter what else might be happening in their lives or how many things happen to be piled on their plate, they will never get any support or help from their husband. This is the husband that refuses to do laundry or load the dishwasher, no matter how much those chores may need to be done.
5. Disappointment in job performance (as mom)
This is very similar to mom guilt, but it is much more generalized. With mom disappointment, it tends to apply to the entire job of being a mom. This is disappointment with her job performance as a mother as opposed to guilt over not spending enough time with your child/children or the guilt you feel over something more specific. See #1.
6. Lack of energy
I can totally relate to this struggle. This is also probably my toughest struggle as a momma. I feel like I never have any energy, no matter how much sleep I get. Very often the afternoon nap entices me a little too much and I find myself in bed for about an hour. If this happens to be your struggle, too, just know that you are not alone.
7. Shattered dreams
Often times as women, we have all of these expectations of how things are going to go or how things are going to turn out. We feel shattered when life doesn’t go according to plan. As mommas, this begins in the delivery room. In that very moment when you realize that your birthing plan (the plan you spent months making just perfect so that you would be the one mom who would enjoy the birthing process) goes out the window and you are suddenly in survival mode. Shattered dreams are a part of being a woman and being a momma.
8. Comparison game
I know that your child is very special and the love of your life, but that is how all mommas feel. That is why the comparison game is prevalent. Everyone wants to brag about their children and how wonderful they are. Everyone wants the world to see that their child is the best. But we also get caught up in the hurt feelings when someone else’s child is the best. It’s hard to see your child next to someone else’s, and not compare them a little bit.
9. Disrespect from children
I see this struggle far too often. The children completely run the show. They have no respect for their momma and will probably grow up to have no respect for other authority figures in their lives.
10. Find time for hubby
Finding that elusive alone time with your loving husband can be quite the struggle. Especially when you have littles running around your house. Littles that do not want to go to bed at night. It can also be difficult when your children are bigger and more aware of what is happening around them.
11. Balancing time & attention between children
Anyone with more than one child knows this struggle. How do I make sure that all of my children are getting enough of me? How can I make sure that each child gets the time alone with me that they need and desire without taking away from what another child needs and desires? Mommas with only one just don’t understand.
12. Feeding healthy meals
It’s six o’clock and you are just walking through the door after a wild and crazy day. That’s when you hear it. One of your children, or possibly even your husband, asks what’s for dinner. You have no clue, but you have to feed them something. So you end up throwing something together. Perhaps it’s a meal that ends in helper or Kraft helped you out in a pinch. Dinner could even come in a brown paper bag from the closest drive-thru. Any way you look at it, saving dinner plans until the last minute almost always guarantees that you are sacrificing health for quick and easy.
This is the last thing that is on a busy momma’s mind. Taking care of herself should be a top priority, but everyone else in the family comes first. I know some moms who even put others outside of their family before themselves.
14. Lack of time to nurture/cultivate new relationships
When everything is about properly socializing your own children, especially if you homeschool, you leave no time to socialize yourself. Friendships are important.
15. Morning madness
Oh, there is nothing like the madness of getting everyone fed and out the door in the morning. Even homeschoolers have to do this every once in awhile. The morning madness struggle is guaranteed to create a momma bear. Scaring the kids into submission is not the answer
16. Bedtime struggles
There is nothing sweeter than watching your child sleep peacefully. I am always wondering what my kids are dreaming about. But with some children, just getting them to stay in their beds until they fall asleep is quite a struggle. Chasing them down for hours, sometimes, just to get them in their rooms. This is when bribery usually rears its ugly head.
17. Attention/educational struggles (trying to get your child to focus on something they are not interested in)
This could be in the form of ADD/ADHD or just having a bored kid. Either way, there are times when children have to comply with things they don’t want to. It can be a struggle to keep their focus on a school subject they don’t like or a chore they don’t want to do.
18. The bed hog (kids climbing into our beds)
Some parents love to share their beds with their children. The family bed it is called. But I have often wondered how this doesn’t put a huge strain on the marriage? There are also parents who do only want the bed to be for momma and daddy but struggle telling their children no when it’s the middle of the night and their little one is standing there waiting to climb in.
I do, on occasion when my husband is out of town, let my dear daughter sleep in bed with me. I am always reminded later why I don’t do it more often. She tends to take up our entire queen bed.
19. Too cool for mom
The struggle of motherhood with teens. I am in this boat with ya. I have a teenager who is too cool for his momma. Too cool for hugs, too cool for “Good job!”, and too cool to be seen hanging out with me.
20. Physical health takes a backseat to everyone else’s needs
This is a struggle of motherhood that begins as soon as you say “I do”. Yes, this struggle starts before you are even a momma. When the whole family has the flu, who has to take care of everyone including herself? Yep, momma! But when momma is the only one who might be sick, who is there to take care of her? Yep, no one!
21. Balancing children’s desires with our own desires
We have dreams and desires. Our children have dreams and desires, as well. Sometimes, our dreams and desires get put on the back burner in favor of giving in to our children. They always come first, after all. I call this the gross donut theory. But that is for another post.
22. Learning to live within the season of life we are in
Everyone goes through seasons of life. At this moment, we are obviously in the motherhood season. But within the motherhood season, we have smaller mini-seasonsns. Right now, I am in a homeschooling with working at home type of season. One of the struggles of motherhood is trying to live within the season of their life as if they were in another season. Some mommas want to live as if they are still single, or they want to stay in the preschool season when their kids are much older and want more control of their own lives.
A lack of boundaries is one of the most common struggles of motherhood. As mommas, we tend to either set too many boundaries on our lives and those lives of our kids. Or we don’t set enough boundaries. This goes back to the bed hog above.
24. Social Demands
Oh, all of that socializing! If you are a homeschooling momma, then you know the pressure to have this as a top priority. But this can easily become one of the struggles of motherhood when you give in to every social demand that comes to either you or your children. I know that it is fun to socialize, but when your calendar is so crowded that there isn’t room for a family dinner or a nice bike ride, you may be overbooked.
25. Living in alignment with priorities
We all have priorities. We don’t always make sure that our goals and to-do list align with those priorities. This is very important because our kiddos watch everything we do.
Yes, money makes the list of struggles of motherhood. Who doesn’t struggle somehow with money? Money happens to be one of the top things that couples fight over and a leading cause of divorce. So, of course, it leads to stress.